My Guardian Angel.

I spend my the several golden hours talking to this person. The best person I have ever met and want nothing in return but true , honest and sincere friendship. I know that if I said I have someone as my best friend and we are like brother and sister, I bet Mido will start doubting me again. I don't think one day is enough for me to talk about this person. I don't have any true friend around me, even-though I have but they will just stab me from behind . Some of them might as well just want pleasure other than being my true friend. But this person I tell you, is different from anyone I have meet, if he isn't , I won't be talking about him in this blogg of mine. This person I'm talking about is MOE GOZALI. I met this guy through HEMA and we became close with each other after HEMA went back to Saudi for vacation. Throughout my entire life, there are no one that knew what I'm thinking and what is kept inside my brain. No one have ever taught me right from wrong other than my family. No one have ever help me or even be there when I'm sad , down or when I'm admitted to the hospital. No one know what kind of medication I needed and No one knows nothing, a single shit about me, other than my family and Mido. Even-though Mido he knows everything about me but he can't be there all the time for me. Mido got his own responsibilities to take care of and he can't be there for me 24/7. As a friend , MOE , he really did his part. He advised me in a-lot of situation. Sometimes if I just hide something from him, he knew it and without me confess to him, he can tell me what I did last night or maybe the day before it. He remember every single little thing in me and we have a-lot of thing in common. I have never felt a father's love before and I don't know what does it feels like to have a father beside you and you know.... the kind of talk like a father-daughter. MOE he completely replaced everything that I have missed in my life. He became my father, mother , sister, brother. He advised me in a-lot of situation. When I was in a fight with Mido, I almost suicide. Moe, he was so angry and he have a hard talk with me. Without me told him why Mido fought with me , he told me what exactly happen between me and him. He got a solution for each and every problem I'm facing. I have a LOW-BLOOD PRESSURE. I can't cry or think too much or pressure myself, because I can get exhausted and fatal. The LOW-BLOOD PRESSURE attacks once a while but if I had too many pressure in a week or so, it will attack me twice a day. MOE knows exactly what my problem is and he is trying to help me to changed, he even advised me to stop cheating behind Mido's back and be a good girl. I swear , if Mido ever get a change to just sit down have a talk to this guy. He will know that actually this guy's a great guy. Now that Moe have went back to Sudan for holiday, I have only Banu as my true friend. No one else. Moe have taught me a-lot of important lesson and I swear , no one can ever be like him because you can't hide anything from him. Even if you did , he will know because he once told me. If he starts being closed with someone, he will know everything that he/she did.

I was just wondering.. Have Mido ever read this blogg before ? If he did , what did he feel when he read this blogg ? Or maybe any of you have read this blogg , what do you actually feel ? Do you feel what I feel or this blogg is bored and lame ? I have been completely honest in this blogg because I only got this blogg to let go all of my emotion , secrets , sadness and happiness. Without this blogg, I don't think I can even survive till now. Writing is my passion, writing is the only way to express what I feel deep down and writing makes me feels better each time when I went through something huge and painful. I'm glad that I can get everything out of my chest today, seriously, maybe some of you should try this. Let go everything that you have kept inside your heart for a long time and you will feel better and relieved.

Everybody is in their dreamland , but I found myself sleep-less. So I'm going to stay awake and maybe I will sleep in the afternoon when I'm bored of this lap-top. I should watch some series and get some some sleep. I will continue with you later ..