Am I making a huge mistakes? Does this feels right? I don't really know..I'm really confused of all the decisions I have made. It just makes me feels like I have letting everyone around so down and filled with disappointment ! Seeka Adam happens to be one of Mido's friend. He added me on face-book recently during new year's eve and we both have quite a pleasant chat. He seems to be a nice guy but I barely know him, he asked me to go to Port Dickson with him on the new year's eve but I rejected him because I was having some crisis with Mido and I just don't feels like going anywhere. Right after Mido get rid of me and sent me back to Banu's place, everything seems to fall apart. I have to start my life all over again and I just have to stop thinking about Mido and move on.
But the thing is that I just don't know why I'm so obsessed with him and I can't let him go. I text him and even call him, unfortunately he did not pick up my calls nor reply me. So I decided to let it go and stop calling him, I went out with Seeka instead.We both went for movie at Times Square and then we both went for shi-sha after the movie. We both had a lot of conversation but mostly about Mido. He asked me what happened between me and him, I mean like I told myself that I had to stop the lies and start a new life again. So I decided to be honest with him, who knows maybe we can be best friend. He told me about himself and we both shared pretty much things in common. He seems like a good guy unlike barnawi and the other told me. He isn't what they think he is.
Things went quite well till all of a sudden he got this funky feeling for me. I mean like we both just met and I don't know it just feels right. I can't denied the feeling I've got for Mido even though he told me that he doesn't want me anymore. I'd still love him but the thing is that he made me feels like we are over already. I don't think I can share the others because I don't think is necessary.
Last night, Mido called me if I could help him on his assignments and he wanted to meet me. So I said ok and I went to him. He picked me up from The Mines shopping mall and then we both went to Kajang. To my surprise, his action makes me feels like he wanted me back. He kissed me and we talked about the recent messages that I send him and he decided to forgive me and give me another chance. Oh my Gosh !! I can't believe this. I'd still love him and to be honest , I really can't forget about him. I need him so much in my life but the thing is that what about Seeka? I don't want to hurt him so I decided to tell Mido the truth. Surprisingly, he isn't mad at me and he was glad that I told him. But to Seeka, I have to be honest with him too because I really don't want to hurt another guy or as well spoiled the relationship between him and Mido. So I text Seeka and I sent him a message on facebook to explain the truth and I just hoped and prayed that he could understand.
At least, I make a honest move and clear the status because the thing is that, I still love Mido. No matter how hard I tried to put myself with the other guy but no one can compare to the touch and the kisses and also the memories we both shared. We both been through a lot of hardship in this relationship and maybe no one can ever understand what I feel for this guy and what are the obsession.
I just prayed that from now on, nothing will come between our path. Maybe to my family and friends, this decision I made could as well be the huge mistakes ever but this is what I choose. I have to be strong for all of the consequences after this and no more being childish but a mature girl for the preparation of college. It's gonna happen real soon because I shall enter to either Stamford College or Multimedia University Malacca.
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