" I don't want to be in a relationship with you or any other girls anymore. I just want to be single and want to have fun with my friends and be alone " This word that came out from his mouth are like the thousand knifes strikes right through my heart. I just can't believe that MIDO said this to me... Goshhhh.... why does it have to be like this ... no !! no !!! I don't want to end it this way , GOD please. No matter how hard I tried to talked to him , seems like ain't no shit is gonna change his mind ! Oh Lord, I just don't feel the whole of my body weight and I almost fainted. I found myself crying and crying so hard. I need a hug , a big one.. I can't handle this one. What have I done to deserve all of this? I know that what I have done before was a huge mistakes but please I don't want to lose him !!
I hate goodbyes , I hate break up , I hate hurting , I hate all of these feelings , is killing me inside. Having no one to talk to and no one to understands me ! I feel so all alone, I had enough of losing , I don't want an extra one because it's FUCKING hurt !! When will I be able to find happiness again ? When does my new life book gonna start ? It's always begin with smile and joy and end up with tears. I guess that it's my destiny that I shall walk this journey alone. Someone told me last night , everybody went through some break up shits and yeahh , they are sad but after that , they moved on. But what if you are just so much crazy in love with someone and all your previous relationship are not more than 3 month but this particular one that you are crazy about are with you for almost 1 year and half ? And the both of you been through whole lot of shits , memories everywhere !! Tell me now, what are you going to do ?
Guess mother was right, I ain't suitable for the love thing. Each time I fell in love, each time I get hurt, the hurt that are inside my heart cost me some serious shit. Right now, all I have to worried about are COLLEGE ! that's all because these are the things that keep spinning in my brain and costs me butterflies whenever I'm thinking about it. hahaha COLLEGE ... whooohooo... is a whole new stories and adventure there ! Can't wait to feel a college air and get my heads in the tonnes of assignments and examination ! Finally my wishes are granted ! Ain't no body is perfect in this world , we make mistakes , we screw things up, but then we forgive and move forward ! I'm not perfect, the mistakes that I have made throughout my entire life , are way more than you think it could be. But the thing is that, I just need to wake up from this bad dream and stop the entire bad things that I have been doing, well then I will have people around me again and maybe TRUST !
But when I looked into his eyes , I sensed that he still cares about me and still love me. Is it end or not yet , that shall see what is going to happen when he came back from ALAMANDA. Let's hopes for the best, I realized a lot of things now. I should have just be matured and I know that GOD is with me. With no fear , will I fight this feeling.
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