this time with a whole new stories.. guess even you won't believe what I'm gonna describe down here! 'm going back to college!! yeahh seriously , no jokes. I spend my Christmas talking to my mother and my auntie about this. I just have to because life ain't easy without a qualification. Is hard to look for a job without a diploma or a degree. Each and every company in Malaysia expectations are getting higher and higher due to the economies and the political changes. Besides, I'm never gonna be 20 years old , one day I will get old and have a family . So do you think , without a qualification , will I ever gonna get a good husband ? What if I have a kids , what am I gonna tell my kids about myself ? They would probably be embarrassed when someone asked about their mother .
I have a really bad memories here in Kuala Lumpur , Malaysia. A bad memories in a way that , I have been in rehab and I have been a really bad girl to my family and even to the people around me. The SEX life and every single thing. The only way to step up is to sacrifice all of the fun and get out of Malaysia to study , get a better life and get a better future. I just have start off with stop the " LIES " . That's the only choices I have. I have been thinking a lot these days. My family have always wanted to watch me graduate in an University, but I failed them. I let them down many times, I disappoint them. My mother are getting old , one day she will pass away . If she does , what is gonna happen to me ?
I just have to make up my mind as soon as possible because, my auntie ,she offered herself to help me on this , I mean with the financial part.
But I don't want to stay in Malaysia anymore , I want to get out of this country. I really have to. All I ever wanted is that, my family can trust me . I really prayed that they can trust that I can get a good result and are ready to study real hard. I will proved to them. I just need trust. I'm ready to sacrifice everything , and I swore I won't turn them down again. I will do whatever it takes ! GOD , I just need this chance for the freaking last time ! GOD , If I ever get this chance I swear , I will do my very best and I will graduate , and get my self-confidence back. Please pray for me people, prayed that my family will help me and prayed that nothing is gonna come to my way. Ain't nothing gonna stop me this time. Please GOD , only you and my family can help me. I won't let you down again!
No comments:
Post a Comment