My real nightmares begins right after my birthday. It was a perfect surprise birthday I ever had. My little romeo , Mido gave me a surprise birthday bash which only my close friends are there with me. I had a real fun till the next day that I woke up with an awkward feeling in my heart. He came in the room with a stressful face telling me that one of his friend , FATOOT, his cousin is back and he needed the room we are currently staying . He told me that he got no choice but to go back to his hostels but the only things he's worried about, is me! He asked me where will I go and where will I be staying. As for me, it happened so suddenly and I didn't know what to said. I told him maybe I might as well go back to Malacca or go back to Cyberjaya because I have a job interview the following morning. So he said alright and he drove me home. We both didn't have any conversations along the way till we reached cyberjaya. He was so freaking angry with his friends and he just can't believe what just happened.
The moment that I reach home, it was all alright but till I went for dinner with my friend. I felt like there is something gonna happened and this time is something serious but not something tiny. Approximately after 2 hours, Mido called me and he started questioning me. He asked me what are my relationships with MOE , and have I slept with him or even kissed him. I told him NO and I explained to him that MOE is my best friend and we are like siblings. But he don't seems to accept the explanation and started doubting me.Besides MOE , he also asked me what are my relationships with this Kenyan dude from APPIT university. I said we are friends. All I heard is that , I'm lying to him and he doesn't believe me and he said, one of his friends called him and tell him things about me, things which are dirty! He closed the phone in my face. I was crying as hell , tried to called him but he ain't picking up. Gosh, I can't believe this is happening. My boyfriend is doubting on me.
Things went really bad till I had to go back to Malacca because he wanted me to. I went back to Malacca for like a week. It was a torturing week, as for he asked for break up and he said even if we get back together again, he will never trust me again!! I was crying and torturing myself, end up in the hospital for low-blood pressure. Why does this have to happened to me ? It's just so soon. Why does the others love to ruin someone else's' relationship ? What benefit will they get after that ?
A week later, I called him once again. Mido told me that I should forget him for a while , find myself , get a job and start a new life. But if I ever want him back, I need to stablelize myself with a job and my own room. And that he will trust me again. But right now, seems like he don't feel anything about me anymore. So all I had to do is get myself a great job and be a strongest girl ever. I've got to stop fantasizing that me and Mido are gonna stay forever. It never gonna be and he will never married me. I'm just wondering , what do I mean to him ? A doll ? A lover ? or a girl for pleasure ? I really don't know !
Now that I'm back on track , I just have to concentrate on what I'm doing. I have to put my family as my first priority and my sister , BANU ! She helped me a lot , and there is nothing that I could do to repay her ! But one thing that I know is , MIDO , I'm no longer that BELLA you used to know , I'm a totally different girl right now. A girl that looking forward to the brightest future and strongest girl fulled with self confidence, trust and faith. So if I'm just a pleasure to you, why don't you just let me know instead of torturing me like this. I'm crying over here day and night , what about u ? Did you ever think about me when you're about to sleep ? Did you think about me when you're about to eat your daily meal ?
If all this was just a nightmare , GOD please wake me up ! I don't want to stay any longer in this nightmare ! I can't handle this anymore !
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