Nothing To Say

Can't imagine that I slept off for a little while. It's just a short nap actually since I did not sleep well last night. Well them housemates are back and he is back too. Wonder how this night is going to be like. How I wish if mama and papa is online, need some family moments to makes me feels better. But unfortunately, they aren't online. Going back to my aunt this coming Sunday and I'm actually counting days to go back. Didn't want to leave but what else can I do if this awkward silences kept coming through? Well seems like I'm officially back to the blogging life. Miss those days where I actually have all the free time to log in and to write about any crap that is inside of this big head. But then plenty of things kept me away from logging. I just prayed that there won't be any teary night and I just want to close my eyes and makes the night move faster. Wish the morning comes a little faster so it can reach Sunday and I will be back home. Did I eventually think too much? Because I seems to get depressed more than yesterday and all the appetite is gone. I don't feel like eating, don't feel myself at all. Sigh, this whole thing is killing me. Oh Lord, I want it to end right now. If it takes any longer I will end up dying. My mind is empty and is blank like a piece of white paper. Waiting for him to hug me once again is like waiting for the rain in this drought. For how long do I have to wait for him to actually talk to me like before and to look at me in the eyes again? If only I have a car, I will just take the keys and leave the house. Drive to somewhere far, to somewhere where no one can find me. To somewhere there is no depression and heart ache. My body is here in this house but the heart and soul is not here. He is just right next to me but the feeling of couldn't hug him nor talking to him like we used to is killing me. I'm logging out, the more I write , the more I'm gonna think about it.

Night and have a blessed day !!