Sad + Disappointed + Heart Broken !!

sitting in front of the laptop doing nothing but staring at 1 picture ! sometimes I'm wondering to myself why can't I get him out of my head. It was all fine before I went back to Malacca, the whole havoc stared to happen after I went back to Malacca. The moment I went back I lost my phone , then there comes a news from Najuu , one of my best girl friend. She told me that on her birthday , MIDO brought a girl to Chillis's for a dinner and then for a movie. Barnawi and Naju was with him and the girl that night itself. When Naju ask him where is Joey , he said don't talk about Joey. I felt like my world fall apart. I have never expect that he is going to do that to me . What have I done to deserved that ? I did nothing ever since I came back to Malacca. I swear I didn't know anything ! Right after I chat with Naju and she told me what happen , I called barnawi and asked him what is going on. He told me that Mido did that because I cheated on him, I went out with arab boys at Malacca. I was like oh my god , is a misunderstanding ! My mother bought me a blackberry bold 2 9300 , and it cost a-lot of money so my mother had to sold her mobile in order to get some money , i have like roughly a thousand over bugs. So with the money my mother got , I bought a blackberry. Then I was hungry after I purchase the mobile phone. I told my mother that I wanted to eat Arabian food. But my mother said there must have a arabian restaurant at this shopping mall, we were searching the whole shopping mall but we found nothing. Then we decided to go to the restaurant near MMU instead. When we reached there, the restaurant was freaking crowded and so freaking noisy. I was so happy till I took out the new phone and dial Mido's number. It was so noisy so I had to go out of the restaurant and talked. The first thing he asked me was where are you , I cant hear the word properly so I said home. Then he said your family speak arabic ! Before I can even explain and he switch off his phone ! I tried to call back many times but he ain't want to answer my calls. No reply from any of the messages I have sent to him and no return calls as well ! What I'm thinking at the moment was that maybe he is busy so I did not call back for like a few days then the next thing I know is Naju told me what he did !!

I was crying like a mad girl. Mama asked me why and what happen but I shuuuu her away and locked myself inside the room. I cried and cried and I did not eat anything for 3 days , just locked myself inside the room!! I just felt like my whole world is gone and I just can't believe that he is doing that to me !! What have I done to deserved all of this ? I know that I was a bad girl before but I have changed totally !! What else did he want from me ?! After 3 days crying, I sat myself on the bed, looking at the teddy bear he gave me for my 20 birthday. I'm thinking to myself , i cried for him , i miss him , i think about him all the time , i do anything for him , i can die for him , i can even kill myself with a knife in front of his eyes but can he do the same ? i bet he cant do the same ! After that I told myself , all this time , I'm the one that keeps running after him , no matter how many times he break up with me, i cant stop running after him and begged of him for another chance . Now that I know he went out with another girl, I don't want to waste my time anymore. I hate breaking up on the phone, if this time I really did wrong , come right in front of me and said GO FUCK URSELF !! but it wasn't my fault after all !! so u can't said that to me !! Now all I have to do is , I wanna study , that's why i begged my second auntie to help me to register at this college UCTI !! I wanna appeared in the TV shows someday. I know my capabilities and abilities. I know I can get a CGPA 3.8 !! I know myself better , I will do that and get the first class of honors like my sister once did then go to UK to further my studies. After that , I will see how is MIDO's reaction. And those who hate me after Mido told you the wrong stories about our relationship , I wanna see what are your reaction! From now , like once you told me baby boo, THINK LIKE A WOLF ! that's what I'm gonna be and besides that I wanna see how far you can go with that girl and I wanna see if she can love you like i do and treats you the way i do or the worst part SEX you like i do !